Friday, 7 December 2012

You really wanna know?? (CAUTION: not for soft hearted people)

Well this is a true story that happened and I’d never forget that night even if I lost my memory as no-one can remove those tragic and dismaying minutes of my life. Even today I get scare to death when I get that flashback. On top of that, awful part is when this hallucination appears without knocking my door. OMG! I can still recall how appalling it was and while writing about it, I can feel its recurrence….DAMN!!!
Okay so, this is what happened. It was different than what usually happens in movies and series that I was alone and it was dark and then heard something and then bizarre people showed up with skeletons and fresh wounds on them and then the traditional phrase of scream “aAaAAaaaAah…” and then running from here and there and creatures and bodies coming out from every wall and ceiling, from fridge and oven and suddenly everyone is starving to eat you and boom they finally eat you….burb….and they say “let’s hunt for something else”. Hey guys chill, you seem scared already. This did not happen with me. Gosh! Stay with me. Well my story was different I wasn’t home alone I was at a friend’s place and having a good time. Now don’t ask/think obvious questions; was I with girls? What was I doing with them at their place? Did my parents know I was with them late night? Blah blah blah…not the point. Well after playing for some time (don’t be pervert) we got hungry and thought we should eat. We checked refrigerator and closet but surprisingly couldn’t find anything except a bottle of milk as the whole thing was empty. She has been living in this place for more than a year now and was shocking to see an empty fridge but no worries there are many aliens living in this world, this is what I thought and said “let it go alien we’ll order something”, she laughed at my sarcasm and said “ai ai captain”, funny right?? But you won’t be smiling towards the end of my story.
We ordered pizza my favorite cheese, jalapeños and pineapples (yummm).  Doorbell rang just 3 minutes after I hung up. We were like “cool…pizza lazziza” (phrase I use every time whenever I get to eat pizza). I opened the door and saw no-one. I was shocked. I thought some kid did a prank on me so I closed the door and a minute after, doorbell rang again and saw no-one. I got pissed so I went into my friend’s room to yell at her what kind a stupid neighborhood she has, but couldn’t find her anywhere in the house. Got little scared but managed to show some manhood later one when I found her cloths outside guestroom’s bathroom and I could hear someone was inside. Well now don’t assume I would have asked to go in, I just went it like that knowing her cloths were outside (how can anyone miss this opening…curse your shyness). I saw no one in there except water coming through a shower and an empty tub. “Damn!” I said. As soon as I turned the power went out, it was a complete blackout. Now I started to panic a bit and reflexively said “mummmmmy”. I somehow managed to find a bed, laid on it and closed my eyes. Momentarily I heard some steps, opened my eyes and every freaking moronic friend was holding a torch facing their faces and scared me to death and said “happy birthday to you..buahahahaha” and boom lights came on they started taking pictures of me getting horrendously unspeakable and damn these people got me almost a heart attack. But that’s not it folks, I was being towed and put into that shower which was then filled with eggs, lemon, tomato and of course water. And yea I wasn’t wearing anything as these scoundrels took off everything while I was being towed (now don’t be a complete pervert). They didn’t stop there they started filming and took pictures all along plus sprayed whip cream topped with sprinkles. Complete gross. Nevertheless tagged me on fb saying “lazziza of the year” and then gave me my pizza saying “eat your lazziza” when in fact they made one out of me.
So remember folks, don’t go to any girl’s place late at night and don’t dare hangout with lots of friends who are female and especially who knows your birthday, you might end up in a dryer or GOD knows where. See I told you earlier, you won’t be smiling you would be in fact laughing.

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